Our prompt for today is to write a persona poem — a kind of dramatic monologue. Here’s Rita Dove channeling Beethoven, and Robert Browning giving voice to a very grumpy monk. The Summer 2008 issue of Poemeleon furnishes many more great examples. So pick a character to inhabit — a person from history, an imaginary or mythical person (like Snow White or Zeus), or just someone you’re not (an Olympic marathon champion, perhaps? I know I’m not one of those), and write in their voice.
Surely you are all familiar with:
A Plumber’s Lament
Will ever it come to an end, this work?
8 bits an hour is undoubtedly some weak pay,
Adhering to the whims of an adolescent jerk
Isn’t why I first agreed to play.
Sure, it’s fair to offer bonus loot
If I get it finished in short time,
But I think it might be moot
Cause the pipes are so clogged with slime!
A plumber’s job is hazardous,
To deal with fungus and with reptiles, too
O let me be raised up like Lazarus
If I should die in service unto you.
But since I don’t wish to be dead
I need be paid in coin,
So I will mash and bash my head
Some payment to purloin.
O, let me solve your problems, player
And not cause you any hassle.
And now that I’m atop them there,
“MY PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE?!?!”
In the spirit of Jody Dee’s ode to my favorite plumber, here’s one in honor of my favorite leisure suited (anti) hero.
Larry is God
In the land of the lounge lizards,
I am one with the universe,
I am well-versed in the art of seduction.
I’ve rendered women powerless,
merely with a bouquet and
a well-presented preservative.
Sierra gave me a world to inhabit,
Lost Wages, NV as it came to be,
was where I would become a legend.
Surely you’ve heard of my adventures,
muggings, VD, slot machines galore.
I’ve always been despised, you see,
For sleeping with a whore.
Not Fawn, nor Faith, nor Eve,
but simply “Best Fantasy, Role Playing or Adventure Game of 1987”
I counted 2 hundred fifty thou legit units,
But the piracy ratio might be 6:1.